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I am writing this as a response to Tim Schmoyer’s “100 blog topics I hope you write” on how to partner with parents in youth ministry. Partnering with parents in youth ministry is not a novel idea. It is a must for all those who work with students to engage with.  We are told in Deuteronomy 6 that it is the responsibility of the parents to lead their children to Christ and to follow Him with their lives.  If this is the case, why do we fail on this matter so much? Why are we so reluctant to give up our meetings, our camps, and our agenda to invest in the families that God has placed around the students in our ministry?  Is it pride?  Maybe it’s arrogance? Perhaps it’s just the fact that student ministry can be so daunting that it becomes hard to add a place for parent ministry.  I don’t know. For me, all 3 of those have been part of the reason I have failed in equipping parents to best minister to their children. However, the number one reason I have not done this is simple – I didn’t know to do so!

Now that I am aware that I am not the number one spiritual advisor in the lives of the students at my church, it has freed me to help prepare and equip parents to take the reins back from me and follow God on this manner. And the amazing thing is that they will do it!  Parents want to invest in the lives of their children, but sometime we need to help them along with encouragement and understanding.  As student ministers, we can help our parents out as they fulfill their role as the main spiritual advisor to their children.  Here’s a few ways we can help them out:

1.  Parents are the experts on their students.

We will never know a student like a parent will know their child.  Think about it, we are with students a few hours a week. In my ministry, if I see a student for 5 hours out of a week, that’s incredible.  And parents, for the most part, get the chance to spend that with a student in a single day.  Parents may think they don’t know their kids, but with the investment of a little time, they will be able to know them way better than I ever will.

2.  Encourage them to take the reins back themselves.

This works best through their small group Bible Studies. Your senior pastor can be a great help in this, as he can spear-head this idea with the parents.  The bottom line is we can work all we want to, but unless the parents are willing to take the reins back themselves, it cannot happen.  However, if I am as encouraging and excited about this as possible, then I believe my parents will get behind me.  They want what’s best for their kids and this is how it begins.

3.  Equip, Equip, Equip.

Once parents are on the side to take on the responsibility of being the chief spiritual guidance in their children’s lives, then our job is to equip them to lead in whatever way we can!  This can be done in a variety of ways. Some of the ways we use are monthly parent newsletters from the Parent Link, weekly family Bible studies delivered via email for Dare2Share, family nights at our midweek Bible study with follow-up home studies, and very shortly, the 10 Day Journey (which you all should check out, it’s great!)

4.  Organize parent meetings.

Get parents together to share struggles, concerns, and prayers.  Let parents know that they are not in this alone.  The best support for parents in this are other parents who are going through the same journey. 

5.  Parental involvement with youth ministry at church.

I am not saying to change small group leaders or make sure every parent is teaching a class or anything like that.  I ask parents to be aware of things that are going on in our ministry.  The best way a parent can be involved with our ministry is praying for their students and others by name!  Helping out with short term bible studies, trips, and the like are great, but I tend to ask parents to just be present at these events. I try to keep their “work” there to a minimum so they can spend time with their kids and their kids’ friends.

This is in no way an exhaustive listing of ways to partner with parents, but it has worked for me.  The best resource any youth worker can have on this topic is the book ReTHiNK by Steve Wright.  May God bless your efforts in involving parents!